Later, Mr. Stove Stoveykins

Obituary:

The Romoser's ancient General Electric stove passed away loudly the other night after Mikey picked up a hammer and inhumanely euthanized it. A sad demise as it had provided a reliable hot seat for copper pots and tea kettles for many decades.

"Stovey" had been a gracious, ubiquitous appliance in the kitchen. But six months ago, after its timer knob fell off, it decided to become a home-cooked version of the "Operation" game, providing frustration and sport to anyone who dared cook on its surfaces. Eventually, the unadorned screw that once housed the "knob" stripped and became uncooperative, frustrating all who tried to turn the damn timer off. A pair of needle nose pliers were employed as the stove slipped further and further into obsolescence. (I'm drinking wine now, so forgive misspellings and overt embellishments.)

And so, bathed in the dwindling sunlight of a fine spring afternoon, "Stovey" slipped into a suspended state, dangling wires and all. Here is her last portrait, nay I say, only portrait ever taken, after Mikey forcibly removed the clock from its metal casing.