Ode to mucousligenous masses who commit poorly devised plots to eat my tender garden shoots. You are gonna die.
It may be one of these methods:
Toss into the blue to land on blackened pavement (Your home -- a mere shell -- becomes shell mosaic)
Toss into neighbors' massive laurel bush
Perchance you eat the Sluggo Plus? How's that little respite between the shoots, betch?
Plop into the garden composter -- a slow, hot hell of green plastico
No beer for you! But maybe a slow languid swim in a bucket o' water?
Toss into back alley where plant purgatory greets poorly planned blimps
Oh yes, say "bye bye."
