Poem my dad wrote

Oh goody, goody, we're going to try
an unusual way to poke out your eye.
A sharp stick, a hot poker, one we'll apply,
but we won't tell you which, it will be a surprise.

Feng Shui for freelancers

I have finally realized what's been wrong with my life:
there's clutter in the southeast end of my house.

Contrary to Feng Shui beliefs, the southeast corner is the one place where you should keep your life clean and uncluttered for wealth and prosperity. 

I've been dropping off my keys, glasses and loose papers in this corner because it's near our back door. What's even more alarming? This is where we store our tickler file of unpaid bills. Had we known the bad luck this would bring, we would have been keeping our buckets-full-o'-cash there. We might have actually made a profit last year! But the southeast corner is where the closet and the dripping coats live. It's where we dump our recycling and our reusable bags. And it's where we store our muddy shoes, smelly cleaning products and our dog's food.

Glad I figured THAT out.